With the holidays right around the corner, many families with children will be hosting dinners and parties for relatives who are either visiting or live in the area. This can be difficult, as young kids are often underfoot or trying to “help” us in ways that aren’t really helpful. Stress levels run high, and what is supposed to be a happy gathering turns into meltdowns and screaming fests.
Both of our families, including extended family and friends, all live close by, so holiday gatherings tend to be large and loud. Over the years, the official party hosts have been distilled down to either me and my husband or my husband’s cousin, with one of us hosting Thanksgiving Dinner, and the other, Christmas Day brunch. A few years ago, I decided to proactively involve our young kids in the festivities by giving them small jobs to do.
Here are some ways to make your kids feel like an important part of the celebration:
When you’re planning your menu, ask your kids to read the ingredients you’ll need for recipes you’ve chosen. If they’re old enough, they can also write the shopping list for you. You might have to go over the list one more time, though, to make sure they haven’t left anything out.
Depending on their ages, have them bake something for the party, like cookies. If they’re old enough to read and measure, you’ll only need to be around to pop things in and out of the oven. However, even little kids can help by frosting cookies or sprinkling decorations. Don’t get hung up on perfection, but compliment them on their creativity.
Tell your children to greet the guests and take their coats. This is great for young kids, and also teaches them to follow simple directions (“take their coats to the guest bedroom, and put them gently on the couch”).
Teach your kids how to set the table for dinner, and give them that job for your party. Our annual party is the one time of year that we use the real silverware and nice plates. While you probably don’t want very young children handling fine china, have them at least place the utensils down in their proper places. I’m not talking about the fancy oddball items, as most of us don’t use them anyway, but at least forks, knives, spoons, plates and napkins. For little kids, you can say something like “if Grandma doesn’t have a fork, she can’t eat” to tell them that what they’re doing matters.
Young children can pour chips in a bowl, and arrange fruits or veggies on a plate. Older kids can ask the guests if they’d like some cider, soda or a cup of coffee when they arrive.
If you’re having a sit-down dinner, have your kids make place cards with the guests’ names on them. They can also embellish them with their own holiday drawings. For instance, one year I cut out tent-style cards from cardstock and had them draw Thanksgiving-related items on the cards, and write our relatives’ names on them. During the meal, give them the responsibility to pass things like bread or salt and pepper.
If you’re having a holiday-themed party, have your children hand out gifts, favors, or sweets.
If your kids are old enough to play an instrument or sing, and they are so inclined, have them perform something for your guests. This gives them the opportunity to be the center of attention for a few minutes, something most kids crave, especially in a sea of adults, when they can feel left out.
You know your family best, and what your kids can handle, but if you feel the time is right, try some of these suggestions, and remember that many parts of holiday preparations can be broken down into child-size tasks. Giving your children responsibilities fulfills their desire to help, teaches them etiquette and behavior, and makes them active participants, not just recipients, in your family’s activities.
Have a wonderful Holiday season!